Tuesday, October 13, 2009
I have been in a funk lately and I don't like it. The tickertape that is running through my head is overwhelming and nothing good is coming from it. Even though I am thinking about how good I would feel if the thoughts in my head were positive and productive, I so easily come back to the list of to-dos and expectations associated with every move I make.
Instead of trying to make myself think of something different and stop and recognize my accomplishments, I am going to stop thinking! Well, not completely. I am going think enough so I get things done that need to get done but I am going to get into action. This action is going to be focused on OTHERS and not on myself.
I have been here before. If I get out of my own way and do things to help others, then I will feel my goodness and see my accomplishments. I know when I talk to others and make it about them, it makes a big difference in both of us. I smile more and see more reasons to smile. This, of course, creates a domino effect of smiles and good things.
This morning it started...I stopped at the store and bought a vase of flowers for my co-workers/friend's birthday :-) It was such an unexpected surprise for her and I can hear her telling everyone about the surprise and how pretty the flowers are!
This is going to be a nice day!
Friday, October 2, 2009
This has been presented to me in two different settings. It helps adjust my perception about change. Does it resonate with you?
Sometimes, I feel that my life is a series of trapeze swings.
I'm either hanging on to a trapeze bar swinging along or, for a few moments,
I'm hurdling across space between the trapeze bars.
Mostly, I spend my time hanging on for dear life to the trapeze bar of the moment.
It carries me along a certain steady rate of swing and I have the feeling that I'm in control.
I know most of the right questions, and even some of the right answers.
But once in a while, as I'm merrily, or not so merrily, swinging along,
I look ahead of me into the distance, and what do I see?
I see another trapeze bar looking at me. It's empty.
And I know, in that place in me that knows, that this new bar has my name on it.
It is my next step, my growth, my aliveness coming to get me.
In my heart of hearts I know that for me to grow,
I must release my grip on the present well-known bar to move to the new one.
Each time it happens, I hope—no, I pray—that I won't have to grab the new one.
But in my knowing place, I know that I must totally release my grasp on my old bar,
and for some moments in time I must hurtle across space before I can grab the new bar.
Each time I do this I am filled with terror.
It doesn't matter that in all my previous hurdles I have always made it.
Each time I am afraid I will miss,
that I will be crushed on unseen rocks in the bottomless basin between the bars.
But I do it anyway. I must.
Perhaps this is the essence of what the mystics call faith.
No guarantees, no net, no insurance, but we do it anyway
because hanging on to that old bar is no longer an option.
And so, for what seems to be an eternity but actually lasts a microsecond.
I soar across the dark void called "the past is over, the future is not yet here."
It's called a transition.
I have come to believe that it is the only place that real change occurs.
I have a sneaking suspicion that the transition zone is the only real thing,
and the bars are the illusions we dream up to not notice the void.
Yes, with all the fear that can accompany transitions, they are still the most vibrant,
growth-filled, passionate moments in our lives.
And so transformation of fear may have nothing to do with making fear go away,
but rather with giving ourselves permission to "hang out" in the transition zone -- between the trapeze bars --
allowing ourselves to dwell in the only place where change really happens.
It can be terrifying. It can also be enlightening.
Hurdling through the void, we just may learn to fly.