Validation and triggers

Because I work very closely with databases and programming on a daily basis, the words validation and triggers bring to mind something very different than what I am writing about today. This isn't a post of technical education but rather of self validation and triggers that are received or put in place to help accomplish a task.

I have been thinking, again, about how I can write and post more frequently. I had a discussion with myself (some people have witnessed this and get quite concerned - ha ha ha). I asked myself the question, which I have asked myself before, do I find value in writing and posting? Is it beneficial for others; those people who I am serving? The universe replies with a loud 'yes'! Friends who read my posts, newsletters or emails tell me (when I need to hear it most) they are inspired by my words and wait patiently for the next release. Well, okay then. There's the validation for me to write!

Now what about those triggers? I know writing is something that I like to do and it is well received but how can I do it more often? What reminders or what kind of sticky notes do I need to keep me writing more often than I do now? I did write a blog about being okay with when I write and post. And as I go through this situation, I am reminded that I accept what I am able to accomplish and to celebrate when I do write.

What I am feeling that goes along with that is consistency...what do the people who I am serving need? What is my posting frequency saying? Do I want to create a sense of curiosity and surprise my readers or do I want to create a more consistent action of showing up?

After some further thinking, it might be true for me in this situation that I am working through some self doubt. I hold back being myself because I am just not sure what others will think. I am chuckling to myself as I write this. Not to deviate too far, I signed up to receive a weekly email from a highly respected life coach that I know. I just received Week 8 issue this morning. It's title is Who Cares What Others Think!! Coincidence? I think NOT! This is a huge message just for me and to guide me and support me in walking one step at a time down this path of writing.

One of the things noted in Who Cares What Others Think is so true after I think about it: It truly is none of my business what other people think of me, but it is my business what I think of ME! Everyone has their own opinion which is based on a whole bunch of stuff that lead them to this moment. Everyone WILL have an opinion of what I do and not everyone will find what I write valuable. However, there is someone, even if the only person is me, who finds value in what I do!

Week 8's message ends with this: The confidence and energy I gain from letting go of what others think will make me most attractive to others. Hummm...that's a warming thought :-)

I am posting this today for me. I like it. I find value in it. I am being myself. I know this will touch someone. I may never know who and how...and will continue to write because I know I will receive messages of some sort to reinforce to me that I am doing the right thing. I will watch for those triggers which will help me keep on task.

To sign up for Pam's 10 week email course, go to http://whatswithinu.com/supercharge/.

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This is a test...bare with me :-)

Your attitude can change everything

I went to work (corporate job) on Monday morning with an overwhelming feeling and seeing a busy morning schedule with back to back meetings where I was doing more than just showing up. I was presenting and leading the meetings. This is becoming the norm (which I am not liking). Since I usually look at Monday mornings as new beginnings, I decided to refocus my energy and thoughts on the others in the meeting instead of myself. I decided that I wouldn't worry about how busy my day was and what I had to do but instead cleared my mind of everything except for what I had to do for that meeting time. I took the focus off of myself and my concerns and worked to be present for the topic at hand.

The change happened immediately and I had to chuckle to myself as I watched things unfold in front of my eyes! I had a slower more patient pace in my speaking. The flow of my words seemed to sound more efficient. I listened for the progress the members of the meeting had made on the project to this point and I acknowledged them for coming so far in such a short period of time. I could hear them smiling in their voices (they were on the phone). The overall energy and attitude was very positive and very comfortable.

I did have another meeting right after that one (in person meeting) and I tried the same approach - to be thinking of the people present and the topic at hand for the time being. I was able to think clearer and not be distracted by incoming emails and thinking about the rest of my day. The meeting was very productive.

I had 2 more meetings that day with breaks in between. I got quite a bit accomplished!

I had evening plans...I was having a home party (wine tasting and jewelry combined). Initially I was worried (for the past few days I might add) about who would be there and how it would go with a combined presentation and how parking in my driveway would turn out. With these thoughts, I knew I wouldn't be able to "be present" and enjoy myself. So it was a very conscious decision to be okay with the way it turned out - whatever that looked like, whoever showed up, who didn't, who bought what and so on. I decided that everyone is adults and everyone is responsible for their own actions! I can only be responsible for my attitude and I saw how it changed everything!

I can only change myself

I have been quite frustrated the past couple of weeks. I haven't felt like myself. I felt like I was paddling the canoe upstream. Things weren't right. I kept looking for who or what was causing me to feel like this. I started seeing lots of things that I didn't like! Why couldn't people just be "something"? Why couldn't people just do "something"? When was "that" going to change to what I wanted? Ever ask yourself these questions? I did!

I was expecting other people and circumstances to be to my liking and since they weren't, I kept waiting for them to conform and getting more and more frustrated when life wasn't meeting MY expectations. I can have a very serious conversation with anyone about NOT having high expectations of people or even expecting people to share opinions and values. I got lost in the day to day and forgot that my own ego and my own expectations lead down a road to disappointment, frustration and anger.

When I finally took a moment and asked "what is wrong with this picture and how can I fix it?" and was open to an answer that was either about the situation, the other person, or ME, that's when I got it. The answer came in multiple ways - I think the universe really wanted me to hear this!

I felt a quiet confirmation within myself that I had been too hard on lots of things (and people) in my external environment. I got a newsletter from someone who I hadn't heard from in quite some time who wrote about not putting my happiness into someone else's hands.

So what do I do with this information? First, I will forgive myself for getting off track!! I am human. I am on a personal journey to be a better human being; to be the best woman/wife/mother/coworker/daughter/sister that I can be. I will make mistakes and that's okay.

Second, I will be grateful to recognizing that I went off track! More of being okay with what happened while I am on my journey. Now I can start doing the right thing.

Third, I will be more patient with myself and slow down! It isn't always about me. Sometimes it is good to be an observer...just watch or listen. Lots can be learned when we are in observation mode.

Fourth, I will be more patient with others! Everyone is on their own journey and road of awareness. I want people to be patient with me and not expect to change me and I should do the same with them and with situations.

My actions

• I can take stock in myself and be grateful for where I am today.

• I can be the best person that I can be today and be comfortable and satisfied with that.

• I can go to sleep at night knowing that I did the best I can do.

• I can have patience with myself and others.

• I can be grateful for everything (no matter how little it may seem) that I have and that I am today.

Today is a new day. I feel better...less stressed. I am taking action on doing what I can do to improve myself and make it the best day that I can. I am doing what I know will bring me a sense of accomplishment. Others may follow. Maybe it's not time for them yet. I will be patient with others. I will not be a follower and sit back and wait for others to lead my happiness. I will define my happiness for today. I will know at the end of the day that I have done my best.

• You choose your attitude every day. What are you choosing today?

• Take how you feel about yourself and your day into your own hands. What are you grateful for today?

• Partner with someone who can gently poke you when you are "off track". Ask them to help you be the best you can be.

Choose to create the best day today!