Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I can only change myself

I have been quite frustrated the past couple of weeks. I haven't felt like myself. I felt like I was paddling the canoe upstream. Things weren't right. I kept looking for who or what was causing me to feel like this. I started seeing lots of things that I didn't like! Why couldn't people just be "something"? Why couldn't people just do "something"? When was "that" going to change to what I wanted? Ever ask yourself these questions? I did!

I was expecting other people and circumstances to be to my liking and since they weren't, I kept waiting for them to conform and getting more and more frustrated when life wasn't meeting MY expectations. I can have a very serious conversation with anyone about NOT having high expectations of people or even expecting people to share opinions and values. I got lost in the day to day and forgot that my own ego and my own expectations lead down a road to disappointment, frustration and anger.

When I finally took a moment and asked "what is wrong with this picture and how can I fix it?" and was open to an answer that was either about the situation, the other person, or ME, that's when I got it. The answer came in multiple ways - I think the universe really wanted me to hear this!

I felt a quiet confirmation within myself that I had been too hard on lots of things (and people) in my external environment. I got a newsletter from someone who I hadn't heard from in quite some time who wrote about not putting my happiness into someone else's hands.

So what do I do with this information? First, I will forgive myself for getting off track!! I am human. I am on a personal journey to be a better human being; to be the best woman/wife/mother/coworker/daughter/sister that I can be. I will make mistakes and that's okay.

Second, I will be grateful to recognizing that I went off track! More of being okay with what happened while I am on my journey. Now I can start doing the right thing.

Third, I will be more patient with myself and slow down! It isn't always about me. Sometimes it is good to be an observer...just watch or listen. Lots can be learned when we are in observation mode.

Fourth, I will be more patient with others! Everyone is on their own journey and road of awareness. I want people to be patient with me and not expect to change me and I should do the same with them and with situations.

My actions
  • I can take stock in myself and be grateful for where I am today.
  • I can be the best person that I can be today and be comfortable and satisfied with that.
  • I can go to sleep at night knowing that I did the best I can do.
  • I can have patience with myself and others.
  • I can be grateful for everything (no matter how little it may seem) that I have and that I am today.
Today is a new day. I feel better...less stressed. I am taking action on doing what I can do to improve myself and make it the best day that I can. I am doing what I know will bring me a sense of accomplishment. Others may follow. Maybe it's not time for them yet. I will be patient with others. I will not be a follower and sit back and wait for others to lead my happiness. I will define my happiness for today. I will know at the end of the day that I have done my best.

  • You choose your attitude every day. What are you choosing today?
  • Take how you feel about yourself and your day into your own hands. What are you grateful for today?
  • Partner with someone who can gently poke you when you are "off track". Ask them to help you be the best you can be.

Choose to create the best day today!

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

Janina-how timely. I will be reading this numerous times over the next few days...weeks? I am still feeling too frustrated with others. sad, dissapointed. I am trying to envelop the positive around me but struggling. Thank you for words to help.